Every day, 22 veterans die of suicide according to the Department of Veterans Affairs. For former Johnson City resident Laura Wiktorek, that's more than a statistic. It's personal, and she's writing a book about her family's experience to try and raise awareness and help others.

"I was relieved... my son was home safe and sound, he had all of his body parts intact, he was smiling, I thought he was fine," says Wiktorek. 

Nine years after that homecoming, Wiktorek's son, Michael Mead, took his own life. 

Now living in Florida, Wiktorek raised her family in Johnson City. In September 1999, Wiktorek remembers a 17-year-old Michael coming to her for consent to join the marines. 

"He was just gung-ho and when he had his mind set on something he was relentless," says Wiktorek. 

She signed the consent forms, Mead graduated high school, and left for training. Everything seemed fine. After all, the United States wasn't at war. A year later, everything changed. On September 11th, 2001, two planes hit the World Trade Center. Michael Mead was no longer serving in peacetime. 

"I knew, once they said terrorist attack, that my son would be going to war," says Wiktorek. 

Mead wasn't deployed until 2004 and came home in 2005 after two tours in Afghanistan and Iraq. Nine years went by, during which he went on to college, started a career, and was about to get married. To Wiktorek, he seemed to be successful and happy, but on September 15th, 2014, he took his own life at the age of 32. 

Looking back now, Wiktorek says "hindsight is 2020." She now sees that there were warning signs she overlooked. When he returned from the war, she says Mead was drinking excessively.

"He was partying a lot... but I'm sure I just thought he was making up for lost time," says Wiktorek. 

It wasn't until after his funeral that Wiktorek would find out from his comrades that they recognized the signs of PTSD and that they believed he blamed himself for a helicopter crash that killed 31 men. Mead had made the call to swap an experienced aircrew member with a rookie that night. Wiktorek says there were plenty of other factors at play, like poor flight conditions, but that Mead's fellow marines told her he still felt immense guilt. 

"He carried that with him," says Wiktorek. 

He never told her and she couldn't have known, but Wiktorek says she could have gotten him help if she'd only seen some of the red flags. Now, she's written a book about her family's tragedy in the hopes of helping others before it's too late.

Wiktorek has been working on the book on and off for the past six years, but another recent loss, this time her husband, pushed her to revisit the past and finish what she had started. "What I Wish I Had Known" is out now and can be found on Wiktorek's website. She says it was difficult to relive the memories and write them down, but the still grieving mom says it will have been worth it if it helps just one person.